Break-ups are one of the most painful things you’ll ever go through—especially if you’re the one being left. Two weeks ago, I was left behind by someone I loved truly and unconditionally. I would have done anything and everything to make it work, even if it meant compromise. I tend to be fiercely loyal in relationships, and if I want to be with someone, I’ll give up anything not to lose them. But in this instance, it still wasn’t enough.
Losing someone you love is a real test of your inner strength. The temptation is to be weak and let it get the best of you; to stay in bed all day, to become bitter, to beg them to take you back, to drink yourself into an oblivion. It takes a strong person to get out of bed, get dressed, go to work, get homework done, take care of themselves, and not seek revenge on or contact with the one who hurt them.
I had no choice but to be strong over the last two weeks. The night my ex broke up with me I was writing a paper for my group research project. I had two classmates counting on me to do my part, and I stayed up till 4:30 am getting it done, crying the whole time. The next morning I had to open the campus food pantry. I tried to get out of work, but no one could replace me. So I showed up, running on two hours of sleep, trying to keep myself composed, and helped people. One sweet student who came in and saw my eyes thought I was sick; he made some recommendations on how I could get better. I couldn’t help but cheer up from his kindness. Later, my boss graciously gave me the afternoon off, and when I returned to work that night there were cookies on my desk.
When I had woken up that morning, I felt as though my world had crumbled. What would I do in my free time? Who would I share meals and stories with? Who would I turn to if I needed to talk or if my car broke down? My world seemed so empty and lonely. But throughout the week, I saw my mom, my grandpa, lots of college students, my classmates, and professors. All of whom showed me nothing but kindness.
I lost not only a companion, but an entire community of people surrounding him. I spent so much time with them, I neglected my own friendships and stopped making new friends of my own. The loneliness is almost too much to bear, but I have to learn to make it on my own. I’m looking forward to new adventures in travelling, making new friends, and jumping back into the world of dating. My mom sent me this picture to remind me that around every river-bend, a new adventure awaits.
In the meantime, if anyone reading this has advice for me, please comment below and/or leave me your email address. I’d love to have someone new to talk to!